untitled 7.06

i wish my mind was a blackboard
and i only had enough chalk to
write poems about you and an
eraser to rub out this poetic nightmare

i am the one you see as a friend
and you are the one i thought i could never have
you are taller, smarter, tastier

i run in circles, medium sized circles
and you’re behind me but i can’t
catch up to you even if you push me

i am the one whose heart always beats
faster, nervous like the first time
i told you i love

so i breathe faster and i count quicker
truth is. i’m anxious.

you scare me. you know how to bruise me.
and i am really quite fragile.

but i can’t tell whether to slow down
or speed up or stop moving and
just stay in one spot until you find me

i need you to search for me.
i need you to find me.

i need to go back outside
and i can’t tell if the straightest distance
between two points is a straight line

or should i just go
down the spiral red slide

copywrite JANEisnotplain 7.06

LIVE BORDERS

live borders




we eat our sunsets
like anger tasting heartbeats

the edge appears slippery
wet herbs divide dark from light

JANEisnotplain 7/06

on israel vs lebanon

6.06


my smile has grown lewd with depravity
my growth does not need restraint anymore
i am fed with sour doubt and terror

in soothing words and touches of care
i have felt only poor relief from
the asperity of being and the despair of being not.

suffers the bud under the pressure of fate
to break the sprout and stretch out into the air
to grow accustomed to the confirming confinement.

because i wish to break open the pain
the ice cold blade of thought incises the abscess
perhaps that will free the pleasure?

copywrite JANE 6.06

BACK WaRd bad

BACK WARD BAD


i like to slide credit cards from
RIGHT to LEFT
which I guess is defined as
BACKWARDS
but every time i do that
the machine beeps and says
BAD CARD
TRY AGAIN!!


why is backwards BACKWARDS?
and why does it register as BAD CARD?
why is BACKWARDS BAD?

why cant both ways be FORWARD?
or better yet
why cant both ways JUST BE?
free of labels
whether BACKWARDS or FORWARDS

why?

copyright JANEisnotplain 5/06

untitled 5.22.06

23.5.06

dear---

sometimes i draw this line
and i still don’t see it yet

i jump over it precariously
while leaving no footprints
in the sand

you cannot find grains ephemerally
you will not find time burned
into future glass

please just let me know you
vicariously

please just let me catch sweet somethings
in my hand



with love,

copyright JANEisnotplain 5/06

original love song

original love song

this is no ordinary love song
this whirlwind of feelings
these pounding rhythms
we keep on moving to
which is interesting because
i’ve never quite been able to
stay with the beat until i
started dancing with you


this is no ordinary love song
this melody of emotions that
goes up, down, in and out of key
which is kind of funny because
before i started dancing with you
my timing never made much sense


this is no ordinary love song
this complicated beat of
i love you do you love me?
who will be the first to confess?
i guess that will be me
which is rather of amusing because
looking back at the score in your eyes
i can see that you meant it first

this is no ordinary love song
this group of amorous notes of
fortissimo and pianissimo
arranged in discordant harmonies
without regard for boundaries
which is ironic because
before you the rules have never
really understood me


this is no ordinary love song
this groove that moves us to
bump hip bones grind souls
twist tongues and laugh
which is good because
before you wrote the rhythm
i couldn’t really dance

copyright JANEisnotplain 5/06

FIRE

Fire



i used to play with matches/ watching them change color from orange to blue//
i let the flames dance so close to my wrists that/ i set my soul on fire//

i used to play with fire/but you made me stop//
and said that i could play with you/ instead

cracks

cracks



the drivers window slowly rolls upwards
the layers of tinting slowly peel downwards
sealing our secrets inside

now i can see
the cracks in the windshield
the glass is transparent
like his words
like his laugh

i dont know if he will ever get it fixed

copyright JANEisnotplain 5/06

untitled doubts

untitled doubts

[you can’t expect to build anything, if you don’t have the bricks to start with]



if i love you,
will that be enough?

and if you understand me,
will it just be memorization?

because distance is just
another word for commitment
and devotion is the
virtue of a slave

will you keep my soul
in a glass jar?







[everything is crumbling]

copy write JANEisnotplain 4/23/06

inventory

inventory





if:
“i” am not “you”
and “you” will never be “i”
and “i” do not expect “you” to be “i”



then:
who is “you”
who is “i”
and what has “me” got to do with IT?



© JANEisnotplain 3/06

INSECURITY

insecurity




power lines cut the sky
exposing the dark belly of blue clouds
as we walk on sun stretched bridges
you can see pieces of us
through slits in the ground

remember the day we took photos
of graffiti on brick walls?
flecked paint, ruined and misplaced?
like the bits of things you cant see

love is just a whisper
we breathe and its gone
and i’m so afraid that
you’re going to blow away

but you cant if you’re just
dried ink and tears
on a page i want to burn

i wont escape
and i wont cry either
i wonder if you realize?

© JANE’2.06

random burning man thought # 19

RANDOMN BURNING MAN THOUGHT # 19

something about the end makes the beginning all the more important

copyright JANE'06

SURPRISE

surprise


i wasn’t always looking, you know
i didn’t always know the way
your hands would feel holding mine
i wasn’t always searching for your lips
i cant justify how i managed to find
what i didn’t even think could be real
i don’t know how i knew that
it is your fingertips i need
like destiny against my skin
but even if i wasn’t looking,
and i know i wasn’t
i’m glad i found you

© JANE’06

DREAMED

dreamed

i search for you in auburn fields of fall
where paper dolls spin under red umbrellas and their
tafetta skirts made of sun rays dance across orange sky

the road there is long and weary
made of white houses that burst
so bright they are blinding and
they shoot into my retina and
for a moment i am blind from the inside out
seeing only the white future of winters
left crumbling on old sidewalks

i want to stop surviving
so that i can begin living
perhaps life is like a red carpet
that never stops unfolding and
i only know the frayed threads of
its worn edges

what it must be like to be
so far away from the end
to hold and to be held
by the fragrant winds of some
to be alive

you will still be around
when august falls

won't you?

copyright JANE 2/06

RANDOMN BURNING MAN THOUGHT #5

RANDOMN BURNING MAN THOUGHT #5

IF: bravery is doing that which frightens you
AND: you do not fear death
THEN:there is nothing brave about dying

copyright JANE 8/05

DOCTOR

doctor

doctor
i'm so sick
can't you help me?
i don't care how
just kill it, please
you've been
sitting behind that
glass for so long
looking in my eyes
taking notes
sacrifice me
i don't care

your dynamic touch
is a small price to
pay to end these
incessant dreams
that worm their way
spreading deeper
and deeper until
i can appreciate
their collective pulse

and anymore
i feel so sick
doctor
just fix it
cure me
change it
make me as
sterile as your
white lab coat

there's something
wrong here, doctor
it's been too long
and they won't take me
broken like
this, doctor
fix me

please

copyright JANE'06

Living Dead

Living Dead


beep beep
keeps the heart pumping
its not the lungs that
give or take the air
or the muscles that
never seem to quit

it’s the doctor
with the beady eyes
the rimmed glasses
and the fear of dying
that keeps the beeps alive

copyright JANE’05

Tripping Paranoia

Tripping paranoia



don’t let her see

i’m lost here
words tucked under my tongue
i look for her but
she moves away toward
a hand on the back of my neck

warm fingers search
for art brought up alone
holding self, exposing only the thicker
skin this complex enigma
alone i am in love
so wonderfully beautiful

i am unveiled words
nude like a graceful body
with a scar that travels forever
flowing, going deep
under my skin

you pry me open
when i meet you in
your big brown eyes i see
restless intricate mist cowering
in the corner of a brilliant mind

don’t let her see

copyright JANE ‘1/06

RAndom Burning Man Thought #6

i see things i am hearing.

copy write JANE 8/05

untitled 01/03/06

like clock work
tick tock tick tock
molten mania
leaks through cracks
in [my] concrete walls
soft pinks
choked off by
orange lava
irons of irony
until the lines
between the lines
no longer seem as sharp

what color is the mode of perception?

copy right JANE'05