dear [ ] : longing

longing


dear [  ]:

it tingles a little,
what isn't there.
and i reach out to,
and i still try to,
stroke, hold, scratch
but there is nothing
to catch but air where
your body once was
warm, giving me chills
as empty sheets move
like ghosts to the
rhythm of my long
-ing sighs.

love, 

JANEisnotplain 03312013

dear [ ] : pearls

pearls


dear [   ]:

when called a [       ]
i will not flinch. i have
heard that word already
from more [   ] mouths
and it no longer stings.

i know my sins and i am
always bracing for the
stones.

i do not make promises.
i am a promise. know that
i have drowned too many
times not to fear the water,
but i will not admit to this.

i sometimes drink wine
from a plastic cup, at night.
i am always looking for
the bottom but, never do i
want to find.

when my hands shake
in the morning, hold them.
they will be cold.

if i arrive bleeding, bandage me.
do not ask what happened.
begin repairs with a kiss.

i may ask you for things i
should not. pretend not to
notice. give easily and often.

my heart is a key
broken off in a lock.
keep it in your pocket.
expect nothing.

i am impossible but there is
such sweetness in the madness
and such symmetry in my flaws.


my love is a monster.
i will not apologize for
its mess, nor will i hide it,
either.

you cannot change me,
although you will want to.
i will not wash your feet.
i will offer no excuses.

i will never say your name
by accident. when i do, it will
sound like a prayer.

when i finally say
I love you
your body will become a
miracle, my hands, a rosary.



love,

JANEisnotplain 03252013

dear [ ] : i find you

I find you

dear [     ]:

pen in hand you

marked me with

inklings of our

shared time and

space that only

you can see.

my head is filled with

you. how do i turn to

other things when the

thought of you won’t

let me go?

i found a strand of

your hair on my bed

as i lay there in the

morning light and

wondered whether

to consider it a part

of you or just some-

thing you left behind?

but i find you in kisses,

sighs, smiles, tears,

music, silence, stories,

words, dreams, coffee,

art, tulips, and love.

JANEisnotplain 3.16.2013