the church

the church

denial
hypocrisy
fetishism
narcissism
intolerance
dissociation
mental passivity
self indulgent
spreading of guilt
the denial of the body
hate for the tangible world
psychotic celebration of fabricated realms
the hypertrophy of the disembodied mind
the regimentation of free thinking under the dogma of truth
the brothels of spirit
the church

JANEisnotplain

reflected: dear e

reflected:

dear e,


we didn’t look the same after medical school.
you looked like hell. and i looked like haggard.

pieces cut and sutured from our anatomic
-ally philosophical hearts stapled to the wall in surgery rm. 8.

all the on-call shifts. and oh. all the sterile hands. i used
to look like beauty in the back seat of your.

you used to resemble a promise
passed between lips in an exchange.

and there was a time. when it was something
i believed in dry runs and secrets and all the kisses.

and all the never tells. but not now.
time for work.

as always.

copyright JANEisnotplain 12/06

on not making it to the alter with e.

about

about ….

she was always the one to
smile and softly say forever

but instead they became
typewriter keys too stiff to press
and ripped bands of black cartridges

she’s distanced her eyelashes from his cheek
but he’s still staring through her stained glass
words broken, transparent, colored

if her body was a wire she would strangle
but for the inability to wrap
her fingers around his

if she were comatose
she wouldn’t leave him like this

she doesn’t want to escape him
not really, i don’t think so

instead, she runs
and he’ll just refuse to leave




JANEisnotplain .05
completed 2.08

about k and r

to do list

to do list:

• study studies on the results of previous studies
• realize our potential potential
• stake out claims on the future
• worry about what to worry about
• democratize the USA
• demilitarize outer space
• welcome latino immigrants at the border
• bomb our way to an “endurable” peace
• change course
• move the party to a more radical center
• spread plutocracy
• recognize our deepest wants, needs, wishes
• free the slaves
• find time to clean the house

JANEisnotplain 2.08

linear circles

linear circles


in space substance is moving
this produces the illusion of error of time
moving substance is absolute relativity
where substance and movement are the same
seeing and hearing and light and sound
is linear and circular and every line is
is just the diameter of some circle


JANEisnotplain 2.08

space

space


she’s obsessed with the
concept of space and
what not enough
of it can do
to a person and i

i see the space between
shared syllables but we
can exist simultaneously
on the same plane

i am learning to re-wire
my nature with hers and
i’ve got strong hands
built entirely of ink that
hold a guarded heart

while clouds and colors
separate in the sky i wait

montreal 2/17/08, she asks for privacy while vocalizing

JANEisnotplain

WHAT
CANIDOO
RSAYTOMAK
ETH ESVISIONS
GOAW AYCLOSEMYEY
ESBUTI CANSTILLH
EARYOU SA YIT




JANEisnotplain 2.08

infinite illusion



(is)
the basis for all measurement = relativity

(and) (is)

energy + mass = absolute relativity

(is)
absolute relativity = a relative moment

(is) (and)
a relative moment = time + space

(and) (and)
time + space = form + substance

(and) (is) (reality)
form + substance = a relative illusion

we can imagine and believe that
these equations answer all of our questions
why and how, when and where
even what but,

there is no objective reality
it has been completely, discretely displaced
by many layers of deception
that is nothing more than misconception
or in reality, an infinite illusion




JANEisnotplain 1.08

dear r: equations

dear r:


who am I?
x = y

you are me
x2 = xy

you are a part of each of us
x2- y2 = xy – y2

we are less without each other
(x-y)(x+y) = y(x-y)

but, are we not each separate?
x + y = y ?

if you look beyond, we are actually the same
2y = y

and you will see who I am
2 = 1





love,

JANEisnotplain 1.05.08

reoccurring d(th)rem(e)s



there it is again,
that numbing pain,
clawing and scratching for air
but there it is again

i am so close to falling
i am so close to slipping

i am sin in its most beautiful glory
a deep dichotomy shed from pretense
i am attached to something
i cannot completely understand
and simply cannot begin to let go

you are sugar, perfect, sweet,
whispers of things i want to believe in

i ask questions in practiced euphoria
i find answers i didn’t want to hear
but there it is again

your puzzle pieces are scattered
around you pretend are not true

i am standing on the verge
of something greater than myself

love
you


JANEisnotplain 11.07

KIRA'S THESIS

kira’s thesis


nothing grows
not fruit
not flowers
nothing until…

her hand touched dirt
awakened the dead
barren to fertile
soil to soil
soil to….


copyright JANEisnotplain 9.07



R.I.P.

self portrait #12

self portrait #12



i reinvent the wheel
on my days off because
“an idle mind is useless”

but my mind tends to
insidiously torment and
self destruct in tandem

so i hide myself behind
this surreptitiously placed
cloak of pronouns and
strategically placed pretenses

i reinvent the wheel
on my days off because
using the first person really
forces reality onto my place

and the rest has already
been said before on
my days off


copy right JANEisnotplain 8/07

untitled 6/12/07

untitled 6/07


you are clad in the form you have chosen
and there is a delay of expectancy in your eyes,
the trepidation of a filly wearing a Sunday dress

but as trendy as you may appear,
you are the first one
not to be persuaded by your masquerade
i am the embarrassed second

what chimerism may occur with camoflauge?


copyright JANEisnotplain 6/12/07

on her response to my announcement

words

words




i praise words
until the sky opens
i plead with words
until lace appears
i prime words
with greasy meter
i preen words
under lines of cover
i paste words
onto absorbent paper
i present words
to men who work
i point words
at politicians
i push words
like dust across the floor
i pillage words
until they bleed
i peel words back
until they crack
i pinch words
until they squeal
i push words down
until there are none left
i press words under
until they cant breathe
i pack up my words
into notebooks no one reads
i promise my words
to no one



copyright JANEisnotplain 6/07

E ≠ i + y

E ≠ i + y



E represents to me
the sum of the
two I(s)/ eye(s)
we once had
and between them is Y
but Y has lost its meaning
a satellite, sometimes consonant
a question, an answer
lost now in the periphery
until even the E of ego
goes and leaves me
the only I.


copyright JANEisnotplain 5/07

i want

i want


i want to lick the sunshine from your arms
while drinking a glass of sun with
artificial sweetener swirls
inside of my mixing emotions

i want to smile the way you do
with tints of golden yellow daisy petals
that water glide on belief, love, hope, serenity
and stick to reflections of eye

i want to walk in dry sandals
when the earth rotates its tears
skipping over the details and heading straight
to hopscotch drawings of chalk hearts

but i falter with every other step
forgetting how to tie my shoelaces
tripping on sidewalks covered in thorns
each cut bleeding me one more step
closer to illumination?


copyright JANEisnotplain 4.07

on discussing rhonda byrne's "THE SECRET"

eloveye

eloveye

el ov
i take the L of
life
and i make it I

the L of
love
becomes I

am all

one




copyright JANEisnotplain 3.07

order by control

order by control



passion in a breath
life in a moment
seeking a truth
living a lie

staying within the lines

it is safer to accept
than to achieve
it is harder not
to believe in god

stay in line, please

copyright JANEisnotplain 2.07

untitled 12.06

untitled 12.06


impulses. (act?)
control. (vanquished?)
slow. (fast enough?)
fast. (slow enough?)
trust. (who?)
mine. (yours?)
yours. (mine?)
rules. (broken?)
fingers. (entwined?)
judgment. (impaired?)
breathe. (more deeply?)
here. (there?)
there. (here?)
move. (closer?)
lips. (touch?)
sanity. (lost?)
dreams. (reality?)
hips. (collide?)
whisper. (i love?)



copyright JANEisnotplain 12.06


for r? for g? for d?

FREYMAN'S INTEGRAL PATHWAY--revised

freyman’s integral pathway (p,q) = e-1/4 (p+q2)S[(q+ip)/ 2]/ n!

it is the incoherent super-position
of different integral faiths that
destructively interferes with the
language of quantum mechanics

often one encounters integrals
where the exponent is not purely quadratic
from the outset but rather contains
both quadratic and linear pieces

to prove this identity
eliminate the linear term
the constant factor scales a-z
yet quantum mechanics remains
fully present and flexible

[we] insert position and momentum
respectively making use of
the clear rationale behind
the resolution of vector identity

quantum particles have more freedom
than their classic counterparts

all the information about any
autonomous quantum particles
is contained within the matrix
of elements of its time evolution operator

the time evolution operator
describes this dynamic evolution
under the influence of
Hamiltonian time

H = T + V or H = E + R

where R is a positive definite
real symmetric n-dimensional matrix
and V is a real vector diagonalized by
orthogonal transformation into
E, a mono-kinetic Euclidean

as the matrix elements express
amplitude for a particle to
propagate between points
it becomes the propagator
of harmonic oscillation

in the matrix of elements
the discrete set becomes dense
over time and space becomes
a continuous curve

this smooth variation of paths
contributes significantly toward
the motivation and the application
of a limit [less] continuum

proving that u and i may be
independent complex numbers that
need not be related by the
simple conjugation of coherent states and paths integral

only by love.



copyright JANEisnotplain 1.07