dear r: haunted

dear r: haunted

dear r:

how do i rid myself of

the aversion, the bitter

taste in my mouth?

how do the words

escape me? how

come i can’t seem

to cry?

how do i tell you that

you were a beautiful

mistake, the sum of

all my errors and faults?

how can i relate my

disappointment? or

share with you my

heartache and pain?

how is it that now,

though we are long

over, I still feel longing?

how do i say that i

can no longer love

you, though to my

dismay, sometimes

i still do.

love,

JANEisnotplain 11.4.2012

in response to a randomn communication 10.20.2012

dear r: true

dear r: true

 dear r:

it might have been better

if you wouldn’t have told

me that love wasn’t something for

those generic kerouacs but for the

silent [   ] deep inside of me

that if you were leaving it was

not because you thought my life

would be better without you

that love isn’t exclusive but

rather changes, as we do

and i wish you all the happiness

that is not mine to give

and i hope that your conclusion

of this greatest lie

isn’t what i have found

to be

true.

love,

JANEisnotplain 10.28.12

dear [ ]: I like how You want to But we have

 

dear [   ]: I like how You want to But we have

I.

I like how you

taste in my mouth

dance on my heart

gnaw at my veins

nip at my fears

I like the way

you crave me

like sea salt but

push me away

like a painful

memory at night

I like the way

we are not what

they say but we

are who we want

to be. the space

between waves.

I like running

with [ ]  toward

the edge of a cliff

unfiltered and un-

punctuated to test

this truth.

I like you with me

compelling analogies

of its complicated to

infinite possibilities

to lower fragile shields

laid bare.

I like how you

give and you take

away my crowded

expectations like life

to porcelain lips and

oxygen to my fire.

II.

You want to touch a

hypothetical temple

mid sentence with

your prickly dandelion

tongue moving up or

down between flow

and time zones of

comfort.

You want to swallow

my bittersweet blush

with the wet residue of

bent fingers dripping

emotions refractive to

attraction and chaos

hushes blushes flushes

safe?

You want to make me

forget my dialect of

defects and forgive

pointed heart beats

let dendrites bloom

intentionally reluctant

but rising after each

dream

You want [  ] to love

[  ]  [again] with the

same electricity and

the soft vibrant colors

that burned [  ] before

i held your hand as if

to drain it of sorrow.

III.

But we have become

broken and heavy. the

sheets are wet with

bits of us coiled in

softly spoken words,

light and love

But we have become

frayed at the edges to

the point where [      ]

nerve endings are

protruding from [      ]

important parts.

But we have become

everything and nothing

engaged in something

somewhere, some[     ] 

else not quite right, yet

a symphony of past tenses.

Love,

JANEisnotplain completed 7.15.12

dear [ ]: i have been

 

dear [      ]:

i have been losing sleep

wanting to be someone

who is worth the risk.

so sweet, not always so

delicate like blue paper

not so unclear.

i have been distracted.

my fists ache without

thought my knees are

unsure of their place in

your space and i am

trying to open.

i have been losing sleep

it burrows into the abyss

of the morning hours

between four and thirty

and wondering about you

feeling my heart beat.

i have been losing [    ].

love, JANEisnotplain 6.12

dear [ ] : red , hot, and blue

 

dear [     ] : red , hot, and blue

dear [    ],

i know you think that you can

peel away my soul and really see

what lies beneath its just that i am

damaged goods that even you don’t

want to carry  around so you tell me

that i am arrogant but that you care

about me you love me like a [        ]

that you want to touch inside anyway

you make the veins in my neck red

hot blue and fucked up.

love, JANEisnotplain 6.12

dear [ ]: i wish

 

dear [     ]:  i   wish

dear [            ] :

i wish you had

not said the words

but you did and i

would have too

but then i [       ]

meant them .

love, JANEisnotplain 6.12

untitled

 

dear   [             ]  :

i feel like a mouth full of broken glass

numbers written all over my hands,

as i frantically pass them in front of [   ].

this steady rain is treason on my shoulders.

it is unwelcome flattery on the back of

my neck, down the inside of my coat.

my body arches with lightening seizures

aches with space consumed by occupation

makes the world shimmery with delusion.

the sidewalks disappear inside of the

white sun emerging on delicate human

feelings taped up like faded polaroids

the laws break as [   ] touch [  ] wounds

thou shalt not but [   ] did and the tablets

crumble willingly like a shaken heart of cards.

i am sorry. [   ] said. it was a mistake

like eyes locked hands clenched lips

stained with delicate strawberry kisses.

love,

JANEisnotplain

ripples

 ripples

[  ] tossed stones at dawn

into the lake's dark water and

now the ripples won't stop.

JANEisnotplain 4.5.12

untitled

 

dear [     ]

this morning the world is that dusty light purple

that foreshadows a coming up or a going down.

the skyscrapers begin to mesh with the sky

and they are the same shade such that i can

not perceive which is which.

I am sorry.

i just couldn’t tell you [so many things i wanted to]

or do it fast enough to begin to [   ]  again

which [as much as i wanted us to open each other] is

like the opening of a new sky.

i am helpless in the complicated mess i have created.

JANEisnotplain  3.25.2012

do not touch

dear r:

i remember walking

to the park to pick roses

the sign clearly read

“Do not touch”, but you

would say otherwise

and i would carry the

rose home carefully

in my hands and love

her, thorns and all.

happy anniversary

love,

JANEisnotplain 3.8.3012

new year's resolution

 
new year's resolution

goodbye [   ]

hello new day

here's to an un-

                                              answered tomorrow 

                              
                                                                                                                JANEisnotplain 0330am 1.12.12

1.1.2012 REBELLION

rebellion. 

               its everywhere [i, you, we ] put [my, your, our ] lips.

JANEisnotplain 1.1.12